NEGATIVE NANCY

Have you ever found yourself talking negatively about yourself? 

Does self-criticism come naturally to you? 

Do you say things like "I am so fat" or "I will never be able to do that, I'm too_____." 

                     If you answered yes to either one of these questions then congratulations love, this is the post for you. We are about to dive right into the dangers of this toxic habit and work together to tackle it head-on.

     I am sure that you all have heard of the saying "we are our own worst critic."  Which is about 99.9% true. We are usually always the first ones to put ourselves down and the last to give ourselves a compliment. Hell, this kind of speech has been implanted so far in our psyche that we tend to do it without even noticing. Speaking negatively has more power than society admits to. It can cause stress, limit the number of good things that come your way, and prevent you from reaching your full potential. The mind is the most powerful tool and also the most delicate. Without proper training, it will lack the nutrients needed to adjust this kind of thinking. Luckily, I have just the tips to assist you in making this kind of cognition a thing of the past.

STEP 1: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS

 "Responsibility is accepting that you are the cause and solution to the matter."-Unknown

     
           To stop negative self-talk, you have to call it out immediately. When you find yourself saying something negative or putting yourself down, try to catch yourself. If you are anything like me, you are always looking for something to pick apart or something to justify why you should not do something/why you are not capable of doing something....and I am here to tell you, YOU ARE. But it starts with taking responsibility for the way you talk about yourself. How do you expect to get anything done if you are always looking for reasons you don't deserve it?

STEP 2: BE POSITIVE

                                        "What you think, you become." - Buddha

            Negativity is infectious and very easy to pass along. Which is why we must control the amount of negative energy we disperse daily. Have you ever met someone that is smiling every time you see them? Or someone that never seems to be having a bad day? I can assure you that it is not that they are some kind of rare breed of human that is immune to the likes of hardship or difficulty. The only thing that separates them from you is their ability to choose positivity instead. Every day is not going to be roses and rainbows but choosing to speak like it is, or treating it as such can take you places negativity could never.
 Fun Fact: Did you know that positive thinking is highly associated with a longer lifespan. Who would have thought that? Definitely, something to think about.

STEP 3: CHANGE YOUR LANGUAGE

            "Be careful of your speech, for what you speak, your actions will repeat." -J. Janae

         There is power in the tongue!! I cannot stress this enough. Much like any other muscle on your body, the more you work it, the stronger it will become. Your tongue is no different. If you are constantly fixing your lips to speak negatively about yourself, it will begin to translate within your actions---consciously and subconsciously. Try changing the way you speak about yourself and the environment around you. Using phrases like "I am" and "I can" are major keys to stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. Every day you should find something to celebrate about yourself. Even if it is the littlest thing like crossing everything off your to-do list or waking up early enough to fit exercise in your day. That is progress. Be proud of it. You will be surprised how many positive things you are subconsciously manifesting by having affirmative speech.

STEP 4: SPEAK IT BEFORE YOU KNOW IT

"Speak those things that are not as though they were" - Romans 4:17

           

      Have you thought about your dream life lately? What does it look like? How does the house that you live in smell? Where is it located? What kind of car are you driving? What is your occupation? Are there certain people there with you? I want to hear all about it. But not in the way I just asked you. I want you to tell me as if you are already there. That's right! I want to know what your children's grades are in school and what kind of house you live in, the whole nine. But don't just tell me. Tell yourself as well. As often as you can remember to. You have to speak over the life, body, job, family, friends, relationships, etc that you want. I don't care if you are 200 pounds with a dead-end job. Speak like you are that 150lb chick with a BMW and a house on the hills with a killer career to match if that's what you are shooting for. Get comfortable with the idea of you having these things. Just like negativity, it is infectious as well. I promise you will not be disappointed with the doors that begin to open up for you. 

      

      Multi-million dollar recording artist Drake says this is something that he has always done. He would speak about being the hottest out and living in the richest neighborhood in Toronto before anyone ever knew who he was. He spoke this over his life whenever he got the chance and look where he is now. Exactly where he always knew he would be. No vision board necessary, you can do this anywhere, anytime. 

  

Sidenote: You may have noticed that this is the longest section out of all the steps. That is not on accident, it is the most important step. 

 

STEP 5: LOOK FOR THE POSITIVES 

"When all they see is the darkness, look for the light." -J. Janae

     

         As mentioned before, when you are used to constantly talking negatively about yourself the positives can become extremely difficult to find. Therefore, we must look for the positive in everything first. Can you imagine how stagnant we as humans would be if we found every excuse not to do something? We would probably still be walking around with lanterns at night. For every negative thing you can say about yourself, 3 positive things can replace that. So make a conscious effort to say those instead. After all, it is 2020. There are a lot of people that did not make it this far and the people that have are BEYOND BLESSED. Anything you want to change, upgrade, re-do, tweak, expand is more possible than ever. There are too many resources available for you to allow negativity to govern your life. It is okay to be grateful for the lemons life gives you, after all, we wouldn't be able to make lemonade without them.  

   Hopefully, you have made it this far and were able to notice the common narrative throughout this entire post. POSITIVITY is key. Speak it. Think it. Feel it. Know it. Operate in it entirely. And please note that I am not insisting that you walk around with some creepy smile like some robot incapable of any other emotion except happiness---that would be unrealistic. I am simply suggesting that you operate on the positive side of every situation. 🤷‍♀️

    Thank you for reading and I look forward to seeing you in the next post. If you were the least bit of inspired from this please comment, subscribe, and share. 

                                                            -J. Janae